Green Thing


	SEVEN THINGS AND VALENTINES DAY \| FEB 13

How can you be a passionate thing and a green thing this Saturday?
By following this simple guide . . .

First you gotta STAY GROUNDED. While it's tempting to whisk your beloved off on some exotic weekend cliché, there's no need. If it's a Paris experience you're after, spray yourself with Chanel and find a good French restaurant in your home town you can WALK THE WALK to. After three glasses of decent Burgundy you won't have the foggiest what city you're in anyway.

When ordering at the restaurant, remember to go EASY ON THE MEAT because many vegetarian dishes are loaded with natural aphrodisiacs and post-steak snoozes are the opposite of romantic.

Once you've walked the walk home again - your beloved in one hand and your ALL-CONSUMING doggie bag in the other - PLUG OUT those lamps, light up those candles and play your beau a beautiful energy-saving love balled on acoustic guitar.

Then with the flames of passion aroused, warm your beloved with your HUMAN HEAT and in the middle of making mad passionate love, think about Jonathan Porrit (this should prolong your staying power) and his warnings about procreation and climate change and take care to STICK WITH WHAT YOU GOT in terms of numbers of kids at least.

Having faced critics within Green Thing's community, Kate's now got to face a cousin who's sniffy about her plans to see India by train. See if Kate can convince him - and herself - in the final part of her brilliantly honest response to our Stay Grounded challenge.



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